"faster"

I was in an abusive relationship for a few years, one I felt trapped in for a long time, until I made the decision to stand up for myself and make a better life for my kids and I. I wish I had gotten out of it "faster", because looking back I realize my kids and I lost three years of our lives. I was so wrapped up in trying to stay alive, that I didnt truly live.
Back when my kids were little I waited on them hand and foot. As soon as they would ask for a drink, a snack, or anything else I would literally jump up and get it, never made them pour their own juice or pickout their own snack, because it was "faster". I got their clothes out for them, never really sat down to teach them how to tie their shoes, I just did it myself because it was "faster". I wouldn't let them vaccum or help with the housework, because I could get it done by myself "faster". I was so depressed and full of anxiety about the next time I would have to call for help, or have to deal with the Drunk, that I moved thru the motions, and did was I was supposed to do, but I wasnt really living. I would never sit down and color, or play a board game with them, because life was "faster" back then.
A little more than three years ago I met the most amazing person, I was instantly in love with him from the first hello. My life has changed dramically since that chance meeting, I am now happier than I have been in a long time, Im working almost everyday, the kids are better behaved (well, most of the time). Ive gained some self respect, and learned that I wont always be there to wait on my kids hand and foot, take the moments NOW to teach them the small and big things, because life might pass me by, if I let it go "Faster" again.